Shared Care Agreement for Mom

The full agreement generated by the Mediator.ai engine for Rachel and Thomas's care plan for their mother.

This draft agreement was generated by the Mediator.ai engine from Rachel’s and Thomas’s position statements. It’s framework language for shared decision-making, not a legal contract; both parties should consult an elder-care attorney for durable power of attorney, health care proxies, and other binding documents.

SHARED CARE AGREEMENT FOR MOM

Effective Date: April 15, 2024
Between: Rachel and Thomas
Regarding: Long-term care plan for Mom following discharge from rehabilitation facility

PREAMBLE: WHAT WE AGREE ON

Both of us love Mom and want her to be safe, comfortable, and maintain as much independence as her health allows. We agree that:

  • Mom cannot safely live alone in her apartment after discharge
  • Neither of us can or should serve as her full-time, unpaid caregiver
  • Professional care is necessary and worth the cost
  • We need a sustainable plan that doesn’t rely on either of us burning out
  • Both of us should contribute according to our capacity: Rachel with proximity and time, Thomas with income and vendor management
  • Whatever we choose needs to be specific, not aspirational

1. IMMEDIATE PLAN (APRIL 22 DISCHARGE)

1.1 Mom will move to an assisted living facility within 30 minutes of Rachel’s home. Target move-in date: April 22, 2024.

1.2 Thomas will identify and contact three facilities by April 17. Rachel will tour the top two options with Mom by April 20. We’ll make the final selection together by video call on April 20.

1.3 If suitable assisted living isn’t available by April 22, Mom will temporarily receive 24/7 in-home care in her apartment, paid for by Thomas, until a facility placement opens up. This is a bridge solution, not the permanent plan.

2. FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS

2.1 Thomas will pay 75% of all professional care costs (assisted living monthly fees, medical expenses not covered by insurance, care supplies). Rachel will pay 25%.

2.2 Thomas will set up automatic monthly payments to the facility or care provider. Rachel will handle co-pays and small incidental expenses under $100, with reimbursement from Thomas within two weeks of receipt submission.

2.3 We’ll review costs every six months (October 2024, April 2025) and adjust the split if either person’s financial situation changes materially.

3. DIVISION OF RESPONSIBILITIES

Rachel will:

  • Serve as primary local contact for medical appointments and emergencies
  • Visit Mom weekly (in person, phone, or video, whatever feels right that week)
  • Attend care plan meetings at the facility
  • Make medical decisions as health proxy
  • Monitor quality of care and flag issues

Thomas will:

  • Manage all vendor and facility relationships (billing, contract renewals, service complaints)
  • Serve as the point of contact when caregivers or staff need to be replaced or issues escalated
  • Handle logistics for moving Mom’s belongings from apartment to assisted living
  • Visit Mom in person for two weeks, three times per year (target months: June, September, January)

We will do together:

  • Major medical decisions (anything beyond Rachel’s health proxy scope)
  • Decisions about changing facilities or care levels
  • Annual care plan review every April

4. MOM’S APARTMENT

4.1 Thomas will arrange and pay for a move/downsizing service to transition Mom’s belongings by May 15, 2024. Rachel will spend one day identifying items Mom wants to keep and will coordinate that day with the service.

4.2 We’ll list the apartment for sublet or sale by June 1. Thomas will hire and manage a property manager or realtor. Net proceeds will go into a dedicated account for Mom’s care costs.

4.3 Rachel is not responsible for cleaning out the apartment, managing showings, or dealing with the landlord beyond the one coordination day.

5. VISITING SCHEDULE (THOMAS)

5.1 Thomas will visit for two weeks, three times per year. He’ll provide Rachel with specific dates at least six weeks in advance.

5.2 During these visits, Thomas will handle all Mom-related tasks (visits, appointments, errands). Rachel gets those two weeks off unless there’s a medical emergency.

5.3 If Thomas cannot make a scheduled visit due to work or emergency, he’ll notify Rachel at least three weeks ahead and reschedule within the same quarter.

6. COMMUNICATION & DECISION-MAKING

6.1 We’ll have a monthly check-in call (30 minutes, first Sunday of each month) to discuss Mom’s status, upcoming needs, and how the plan is working.

6.2 For urgent medical decisions, Rachel has authority as health proxy. For major care transitions (facility change, hospice, memory care unit), we’ll decide together within 72 hours of the need arising.

6.3 If we disagree on a major decision, we’ll consult Mom’s primary care physician and the facility care team for a recommendation, then make a final call together within one week.

7. WHAT HAPPENS IF THIS STOPS WORKING

7.1 Either of us can call for a plan review at any time by requesting it in writing (email counts). We’ll meet within two weeks to discuss what needs to change.

7.2 If Rachel is doing more local management than planned and it’s unsustainable, Thomas will hire a geriatric care manager to take over day-to-day coordination. Cost split: 75% Thomas, 25% Rachel.

7.3 If Thomas isn’t fulfilling vendor management duties, Rachel can hire someone to do it and deduct the cost from Thomas’s share of future expenses.

7.4 If Mom’s needs exceed what assisted living can provide (advanced dementia, hospice-level care), we’ll revisit this agreement with her medical team’s input within 30 days of that determination.

8. WHAT WE’RE LEAVING OPEN

8.1 The question of memory care or nursing home placement will be made when and if her neurologist recommends it, based on the same division of responsibilities and cost-sharing in this agreement.

8.2 End-of-life decisions will be guided by Mom’s advance directive and Rachel’s authority as health proxy, with Thomas involved in all major conversations.

9. TERM & MODIFICATION

9.1 This agreement takes effect April 15, 2024 and continues until Mom no longer requires professional care or until we mutually agree to replace it.

9.2 We can modify this agreement at any time if we both agree in writing (email counts). Changes take effect the date we both confirm.

9.3 We’ll do a full review of the agreement every April to make sure it still fits Mom’s needs and our capacities.

Acknowledgments:

We both acknowledge that this is hard, that neither of us has done this before, and that we’re going to make mistakes. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s making sure Mom is safe and cared for without either of us collapsing under the weight of it.

Rachel: We see that you’ve been carrying this largely alone, and that ends now.

Thomas: We see that you’re stepping up in a real, material way, and that you’re not just writing checks from a distance.

Signed:

__________________________
Rachel, April ___, 2024

__________________________
Thomas, April ___, 2024

DISCLAIMER: This agreement reflects the intentions and commitments of both parties as of the date signed. It is not a legal contract and is not intended to create legally binding obligations. It serves as a framework for shared decision-making and mutual accountability. Both parties may wish to consult with an elder care attorney regarding durable power of attorney, health care proxies, and other legal documents governing Mom’s care.